This is the story of my momentously farcical fight with the Council that hopefully shows how you too can beat the ridiculous system.
In February - yes February - I went to watch a film at Westfield's new cinema. I parked in Hopgood St, north of Uxbridge Road, parrallel to Wood Lane, underneath this sign: 'No Parking - Monday to Saturday, 8am-8pm'.
War!
I went to the Hammersmith Council offices the next day and explained the situation. As can be expected, I was then thrust many pieces of paper which I had to colour-code, cross reference, photocopy, scan, email and translate into Flemish before I would be allowed to appeal my PCN (Penalty Charge Notice). After jumping through all these hoops I handed in my appeal and walked out of the office with my head held high, supremely confident that I had triumphed.
But this was only round one.
I had been told to expect a letter in the post within two weeks explaining the decision. After three weeks of silence I went back to the council to check the progress of my inevitable victory. Instead I was met with the bemused face of an employee who explained that they had no record of my penalty and I now owed £120 for not paying my original charge in the allotted time. I got a headache out of pure boredom. After some fine detective work the office found out that the reason for my invisibility was that the appeal had not been scanned in on the correct scanner. Easy mistake. I filled out another form and walked out onto King Street feeling proud with my concerted efforts in the name of justice.
Two weeks passed and a letter dropped through my door. I opened it trying to find the line between arrogance and humility in response to my victory. However, no victory - my appeal had been rejected. It was all my fault because 'I had parked my vehicle within the confines of Parking Zone G. This control zone spans the Westfield area and is clearly marked at the entrances to this zone.'
Hmm, I live in Zone J and have done so for 16 years. I was unaware that Parking Zone G had different rules, and if where exactly were these 'entrances' to Zone G that I had ignored?
Good move on the part of Parking Services, I thought, dazzle your victims with boring language and talk of mystery entrances and the battle is won. They arrogantly requested that I popped £60 over to them so that we could all get on with our lives. But they had met their match.
I sent a letter arguing that their information was inadequate and they hadn't told the public that different rules existed for Parking Zone G. I wasn't stumping up the £60.
In return, I received another letter. We were going to court.
They had gone further than I expected, but I was in no mood to shrink now. Live and die by your sword. The amphitheatre had been chosen, West London County Court. Epic doesn't do it justice. But there was a final offer - settle up now, pay £60 and the Council would call it quits. But go to court and face their evidence, which they were confident of, and, well, who could say what would happen? Maybe a fine of £120; possibly six months in Wormwood Scrubs. Who could say?
No deal. Bring it On.
Then with the moment drawing nearer and my nerves starting to jangle my adversary threw in the towel. A letter arrived explaining that after further consideration my case had been overturned and my appeal accepted. I was content but also confused, mainly at how much further consideration could have been given in these final hours that had not been done in the last five months. What really made the letter brilliant was the adjoining "personal note" explaining the Parking Zone G system with an attached map pointing out the mystery entrances that I had somehow missed on that fateful day in February. No wonder I missed it, look at it, on Uxbridge Road, just opposite Lime Grove, and how small the 9am-10pm lettering is
Obviously the letter is framed on the wall and the map is now nailed to my forehead so that I never make the mistake again. I'm going to the cinema again on Sunday; I wonder where I'll park? It's just too tempting.
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